the smell of freshly mowed grass

the title and tagline of this blog may sound familiar to those who have seen the film "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind." the movie was about a couple, joel and clementine, who had each other erased from their memories. clementine went through the procedure first, and then joel decided to do it too when he found out that she did. during the process of erasing the memories, joel realized how happy the two of them were and wanted to stop the procedure but it was too late. he tried to hold on to the memories but they kept fading away. he held on to one particular memory most: he was repeatedly telling clementine that she is pretty because she thinks she is ugly. "please let me keep this memory. just this one," he said. that scene made me think about the one memory that i would like to keep and at that moment i thought of the smell of freshly mowed grass.

i have always noticed how my sense of smell triggers memories, especially those from my childhood. and i just thought that my love for the smell of freshly mowed grass would help me remember many things.

i was born and raised in the province. i did not grow up in a farm, but my family owns one. i loved going to the farm to climb trees and harvest fruits. i also enjoyed hunting spiders and flying kites with my brother. i also loved sitting on the grass to draw. sometimes, i would lie on my back, make out figures in the sky and get lost in my daydreams. at times, i would run after grasshoppers. i enjoyed these activities most when the grass has just been mowed because the smell comforted me. like home.

when i moved into the city for college, i longed for home. and, unconsciously, for that smell. some kids get attached to the smell of their favorite blanket, pillow or stuffed toy, but i got attached to the smell of freshly mowed grass. luckily, i got into a university with a wide field. i enjoyed hanging out with my friends there. even after graduation, we would often find ourselves sitting side by side on the grass, reminiscing the days that were.

but aside from the memories we had there, i never mentioned that my love for the smell of grass endeared that field to me. i thought it would just add up to the long list of things they find weird about me. i found it weird myself. so i kept this love to myself too long.

the first person i shared my love for the smell of freshly mowed grass to was my husband. it was during the early years of our boyfriend-girlfriend relationship and we were sitting on the grass of my university's field. coincidentally, the grass was freshly mowed then. i asked if he liked the smell and he said he loves it because it reminds him of when he used to play soccer in grade school. he asked me why i asked and i told him it was because i love the smell too. i remember feeling sad that day but when i learned that we share this profound love for the smell of freshly mowed grass, i felt light and happy again.